THE TOP 8 REASONS TO ATTEND RAINBOW RECOVERY CLUB!

Sexy beast Hiran chairs the Saturday Night Speaker Meeting!
*Bringing to you live the hottest local AA speakers, sexy Hiran keeps it R-E-D HOT to hear the story of another alcoholic! Bring your listening ears and your most impatient sponsee and see who is next on the list of those destined to change your perspective on life! Saturday night at 8:15!

7) Free coffee all day, every day!
*Don’t swing by Starbucks when you can have free coffee at RRC! Poured in glamorous Styrofoam cups, you get to say how you want it! Creamy? Sugary? Or are you a convert…cause once you go black, you never go back! Come get a free cup today!

6) A safe place for LGBT!!
*This ain’t a “gay for pay” crew! No “bi for a guy” here! This is a real family friendly clubhouse! Welcome, brothers and sisters, to a home for us…the gay and lesbian in AA! Does heteronormativity freak you out and scare you from other clubs? Well, don’t be a drag, just be a queen! See you at the meeting! Come on home!

5) Finally, a clean bathroom!
*Thank my Higher Power for gays, because they keep it sparkling everywhere they go! Like little pixies of glitter and shine, our stylish sober brothers work-out the Mr. Clean inside all of RRC! ‘Cause let’s get real…other club’s have some raunchy toilets.

4) Always get a jump!
*What better place to drive a busted-up car than to RRC? With lesbians swarming the parking lot, you are sure to get your car up and running! These innate mechanics will talk recovery, b-ball, and at the same time change your oil!

3) Pretty chips!
*Where else but RRC will give you a pretty chip for every month of continued sobriety? These aren’t cheap plastic poker chips from Walmart…these are gorgeous aluminum AA pressed chips! Come and celebrate your recovery with RRC and get the pretty stuff, baby!

2)Come meet Lauren L!
*Home of nationally recognized recovery blogger, novelist, and self-proclaimed celebrity Lauren L! Alright…so it’s a pathetic plug for myself. Hey, some are sicker than others, right? HA! Come visit me at RRC!

1) Get and stay sober!
*That’s right…RRC passes a genuine and pure message of recovery to the newcomer. Based on the Big Book of AA, and by using the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, RRC promotes healthy recovery to all alcoholics who attend. Recovery is real and it is possible. So get your booty over here, get a sponsor, and take some suggestions. See you at the next meeting!

Hello, my lovely AA brothers and sisters! I just wanted to blog real quick about an experience I am having that I would not have if I did not have all of you wonderful people helping me and supporting me in my recovery. I am currently in Arkansas (being here in a supportive roll) for my girlfriend while her mother is in the hospital.

Before I write about this sober experience I need to put out there several things:

1) the Big Dipper is HUGE out here!
2) this town is a bunch of farms
3) they have no Starbucks
4) I haven’t seen a single person of non-white skin
5) all the straight girls have mullets…WTF?

It is a little like the Twilight Zone, but it’s also neat. Outside my window is a chicken coop and I fed a calf earlier tonight (see above picture).

Two miracles have occured. One is that I have yet to step in a pile of manure and two is that this entire time I’ve been able to be a solid presence for my girlfriend and her family. During my drinking days…yeah, sure, I did stuff like this, but I was always seeking out time to drink. Today, all I am doing is seeking out ways that I can be of maximum help to her and her family during this critical time. I show love, patience, kindness, and willingness in a way that is not self-serving. Never in my drinking was I able to be fully present for someone else – I was just too engulfed in my alcoholism! No matter how genuine my intention was, during my drinking I never-ever-ever was able to give of myself like this. Although it is literally my flesh and soul that is in Arkansas, all the credit of my behavior goes directly to the program, the Fellowship, and…well, and my cats.

What?? Did you think I wasn’t going to mention my preciouses?! Ha ha! Okay…so it goes also to my Higher Power. Okay, I gotta get back to farm livin’! Yee-haw!

I would be a big lie-face if I said that this prayer and meditation always comes easy to me. Some mornings I am a good recovering drunk and I do get on my knees and say, “Thy will be done.” Go figure that the mornings I do this, everything during my day seems pretty okay. Even when drama or trouble emerges I find that I am at peace. However, some mornings come and I don’t get on my knees to pray. What happens? How does my day go?

Well, the sky doesn’t fall in…and the ground doesn’t swallow me up…and the sun rose and set and the moon popped out of the sky…so, was there any authentic and life-altering difference in my day (excluding the reality that people sometimes drink on these days)???

Yes! Usually, it is a subtle difference that I notice. On the days that I do not pray in the morning, I feel unpolished. I feel spotty, as if I were a smudged window pane. On the days that I do pray, I feel fresh. Clean. I feel transparent, honest, and forthright.

So, what happens when I don’t pray in the morning? Does that mean I should write off my day or can I start it over?

That’s the coolest part! All I have to do is say, “Thy will be done.”

…and then you see me stunnin’! So fresh and so clean, clean!

No New Year’s resolution ever stuck for me. While drunk I swore off drinking on New Year’s several different times, saying, “Dude, this time next week I’ll be on the wagon. (Hiccup) I promise!”

It never stuck. Thankfully, the AA program doesn’t ask me to swear off drinking forever. It just suggests I do it for one day – that day being today. And then tomorrow I get to make that same choice. Thank you, Rainbow Recovery Club, for being a great support group for me. One day at a time I am able to stay sober. Thank you for holding meetings and thank you for my sobriety!

Anyway, I just found out that for the past ump-teen years I have been incorrectly dancing the electric slide. DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?? I probably owe hundreds of people amends for being so arrogant as to say, “No, you’re doing it wrong.” AHHH! The cost of sobriety is mighty!!

Thankfully, part of Step 9 is making amends to me. The program has brought me grace and given me the chance to say, “Lauren L, I forgive you for your arrogance and selfishness. Perhaps making amends will include correctly learning the electric slide and then dancing it AT RRC’S AWESOME NEW YEARS EVE PARTY!”

Here is the quote, which can be found in the Big Book, at the end of Appendix II:

“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance – that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”

-Herbert Spencer

This quote actually first appeared way back in 1939, in the 1st Edition, First Printing of the Big Book, at the beginning “An Artist’s Concept,” which was one of the original stories.  But, that story was dropped when the 2^nd Edition, 1^st Printing of the Big Book was published in 1955, and with it went the Spencer quote!  Even when the 2^nd Edition, 2^nd Printing rolled hot off the presses, the quote was not include.  Then, in 1959, it was smacked onto the end of Appendix II and out came published the 2^nd Edition, 3^rd Printing, and that is still where it finds its home today.

Would you like to hear more information about this quote and how it applies to recovery?  Then come on over to RRC and let’s talk!

“Thank you, my dearest fans and friends of my creative genius and gorgeousness…yes, hello!  You back there – I see you, honey!  Thank you for voting for me, too!  But, of course, it is no surprise that you all voted for me to win.  I mean, certainly….really, who else would win?  Anyway, I’m doing well.  Thanks.  Wow – this handsome trophy is going to make a great paper weight.  So…I am perfect and you are all my followers.  Well, at least no one is confused with the hierarchy of brilliance.  Hmmm…what to say?  Actually, I’ll just answer a question or two.  You!  Right in the front row, there.  Do you have a question for perfect Princess Lauren L? 

(inaudible)

Er, right.  Great question!  Yes, I am completely aware that Bill W. did, in fact, decline several honors offered to him.  For example, Yale University offered up the degree of Doctor of Law and Bill W. declined it for reasons of anonymity and also because he thought AA as a whole should receive the credit, not just him.  Umm…and a couple other prestigious honors he declined.  Yeah.  Look, let’s cut to the meat here.  Just because back in 1960 someone from New York contacted Bill W. about the possibility of a Nobel Prize, and Bill said that the award would have to cite Alcoholics Anonymous and not him, doesn’t mean that I am required to humble my ego and do that same thing.  And that’s great that the money from a different prize was pre-declined from the General Service Board of AA in 1986 when a proposal to nominate AA for the Nobel Price was presented.  Yeah – good for them.  I’ve got two cats to feed and a date Friday night. 

(inaudible)

Look, buddy, I’ll make this easy for you:  There is no ‘I’ in “Team’.  Got it?  Good!  ‘Cause let’s not forget…this is all about me.  Hang on, my sponsor is calling.  Hello?  Hi!  Do you see me on live TV!  Wh-what do you mean you don’t see me and all you see is an ass?  What channel are you watching?  H-hang on one second…

Okay, all my little pets of adoration!  I am off to sprinkle bits of heaven all over the world!  Goodnight, and…mwah, mwah, mwaaaaah!”